Organized Chaos

You

Someday, I'll be livin' in a big ol' city, and all you're ever gonna be is mean.

Halloween Bookworm

My little nephew Joziah LOVES books. I'm hoping Charlie catches the bug too but so far she seems to only want to eat them. But I digress. I always try to mail Joziah books I think he'll enjoy and while I was visiting my family in Hawaii earlier this year, I left him a copy of "Caps for Sale." It was one of my favorite books as a kid and it just so happened to end up being one of Joziah's favorite's too (I'm told he made his mom read it every night at bedtime for months). When his preschool announced the children were to dress up for Halloween as a book character, he chose to go as Pezzo the Peddler. I'm so proud of the job my sister did at putting together his costume.. he makes a pretty cute peddler, don't you agree?

Snow Day!

First snow of the season here in New York City! I also got my first experience of driving in the snow.. a little nerve-wracking I must say!

To Do List a Mile Long

I am CRAVING some scrapbook time.  I haven't scrapped since I was pregnant.. that's about a year ago!  Insane.  No wonder I feel all crazy.  J's mom comes into town a week from now to visit and help out with Charlie.. I'm hoping to get completely caught up while she's here; scrapbook room completely unpacked, etsy shop set up, house organized.. too much to ask?

Just one of the many reasons Tina Fey ROCKS

A Mother's Prayer for her Child by Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

 

I can't wait to get my hands on her new book, Bossypants.

TV Bug

#1 Yo Gabba Fan

Eight about Charlize at Eight Months

1. My beautiful little girl is eight and a half months old already!  J and I are completely in love with her as she is a charmer.  I'm pretty sure she knows it, too, and uses it to her advantage. We can't go anywhere without someone commenting on how cute she is.. usually because she's been smiling at them from a distance or giggling (which happens to be rather infectious), trying to get their attention. 
2. Her favorite food is pretty much anything she thinks we're eating.  She's not fond of peaches (Ironic as Jerry is from Georgia) and has a tiny allergy to pineapple.  I know, I'm from Hawai'i. Go figure, right? My dirty little secret is I was somewhat allergic to it as a kid also.  ;) 
3. She loves Yo Gabba Gabba! but also has a crush on MacGyver. She gets excited at the sound of the theme song.  I kid you not. Daddy is currently trying to get her into Star Trek.  Someone help me.
4. Her favorite toy.. is anything that wasn't meant to be a toy, really.  She seems to be obsessed with the container of baby wipes and who wouldn't be intrigued by a plain white plastic box?
5. She can crawl and sit up on her own though to be honest she doesn't seem to be interested in crawling.  She tries to climb and stand so I think she's attempting to bypass the crawling as her mode of transportation.
6. She is rather intrigued by our dog Sophie and this is one of the few things she will crawl for.  Sophie seems to be equally intrigued.
7. She has two little bottom teeth with another coming in at the moment (oy!).
8. She is just under 20lbs.  She is long but somewhat thin.  She's basically all cheeks. When she was two months old we spent some time in Hawaii with my family and my sister constantly joked that we needed to "get some rolls" on her.  She'll be happy to know we've managed to get one on each thigh!

 ♥

Thinking of becoming a parent?

Found this online and just had to share (sorry, I don't know who the author is).  All the more real to me now that I'm a parent..  if only i'd seen this sooner!  ;)

 

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

 

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

 

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

 

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

 

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

 

Lesson 5

 Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

 

Time allowed for this - all morning.

 

Lesson 6

 Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

 

Lesson 7

 Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

 

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

 

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

 

Lesson 9

 Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

 

Lesson 10

 Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

 

Lesson 11

 Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

From the brains of babes

Lately i've found myself more and more curious about what goes on in the minds of babies.. specifically my little Charlize.  I swear at times she is thinking about how weird or crazy I am, laughing at how quickly I jump at the tiniest of noises she makes or how annoying it is that I constantly check on her while she's sleeping to "make sure she hasn't pulled a blanket over her face."  I'm hoping my paranoia gets better over time.  For now though, I think I've solved the mystery of just what thoughts are running through the head of my munchkin. At the very least I can humor myself.

Oh no, not the camera again!

I know I'm cute but if you don't stop taking pictures of me, I'm going to ruin every one you take.

How about the crying thing.. that always gets me what I want.

Alright, if you give me my pacifier I'll hold still long enough to let you put a bow on me.

Told you, the crying thing works like a charm every time.

Boy, this drama queen business is tiring.

Best Present Ever!

Meet Charlize Leilani Rivas, born November 27, 2010. Happy Holidays, everyone!